I'm a little late to the scene for Infertility Awareness Week.
Sorry about that. Actually, I'm not sorry...mainly because it is something I am always aware of. I don't feel the need to give this issue a week of its' own. Having been through it myself, I want to bring this topic to light in a different way, mainly because it has taught me so much about myself and my world. While I love the idea that there is a whole campaign out there to bring infertility to the forefront of people's minds for a bit, I also feel like this type of thing can be a turn-off to actual hands-on ministry. We should always be finding ways to meet needs and mend hurts no matter the issue.
What would matter more to you if you were dealing with infertility?
a. A few friends linking webpages and blogs on facebook to show they care.
b. A woman who has been there, done that sitting with you, listening, praying, drinking tea and sharing in your pain.
If you think about it, we are called to minister with our lives, our relationships. We are supposed to use our past hurts to help the new ones entering into a hard season. This might look different for each person, and everyone has a different personality. But I know that my most beautiful moments in the midst of my pain involved a face-to-face conversation with someone who I knew loved me for me. Someone who didn't hide their emotions or news from me. Someone who gave me tough love when necessary. If you have been through infertility in any way, shape or form...think about how your life can be a ministry to others.
I want to talk to you today mainly about what it is like to be on the other side of infertility.
Infertility has a way of turning the most sane, normal woman into a crazy person. Trust me. And it was in those moments of short-term craziness that I acted how I wouldn't normally have acted. Which, inevitably, either burned bridges or scattered eggshells on the ground between certain people and myself relationally. I hate that. I regret it deeply. But, I am grateful for God who is full of grace. Nobody was out to get me, as much as I believed they were. Nobody was "racing against me" in the pursuit of a baby like I had imagined. Many hours of prayer over this have taught me that even though I handled things poorly at times, God has covered it with his grace. I have given forgiveness to those who hurt me, even if they didn't mean to. I have sought forgiveness as well. And you know you are on the other side when you find reconciliation with those who hurt you, as well as those whom you hurt. When you stand across the bridge and see "water under it" in the place of hurt feelings. I love those deeply who have loved me through my ugliness.
3. Full Life
All this to say, don't give up on yourself, and don't give up on God's plan for your life. Hebrews 12:1 says:
since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us
throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles.
And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us."