One Day....

It has been a very long time since I sat and typed my thoughts out. I felt so much closure with the last blog post that I felt peaceful enough to put my "pen" down for a while and just enjoy my days...except that my days, well, they just started getting so full. Overflowing, in fact. I cannot believe how the pages have turned so quickly on my calendar this year. I feel like once I get used to it being a new month, it's already another new month. Insane, I tell ya!

Today I was driving about town, being "busy" as usual...(All good things, mind you!) and my iPod shuffled to a favorite song of mine from 2008. I heard the intro, and decided to crank it up and jam with my baby. (He loves to dance!) They say music takes you back...and "they" are right. What was I doing in 2008? I was grappling, searching, drowning, questioning, wondering, hoping...in the depths of my pain from infertility (four years in). It was one of the darkest seasons of my life until our losses. At that time, these lyrics grounded me. Centered me. Helped me to remember that I needed to replace my sorrow with gratefulness, my longing with looking around me. But what did I feel today when I heard it? It's almost indescribable. I felt...happy, secure, faith-filled, trusting, grounded and whole. What a difference a handful of years makes.

Lyrics (Please. Actually read the lyrics. They are amazing!)

Alanis Morrissette  "Incomplete"

One day I’ll find relief
I’ll be arrived and I’ll be a friend to my friends who know how to be friends

One day I’ll be at peace
I’ll be enlightened and I’ll be married with children and maybe adopt

One day I will be healed
I will gather my wounds forge the end of tragic comedy

I have been running so sweaty my whole life
Urgent for a finish line
And I have been missing the rapture this whole time
Of being forever incomplete

One day, my mind will retreat, and I’ll know God and I’ll be constantly one with her night dusk and day
One day I’ll be secure, like the women I see on their 30th anniversaries

I have been running so sweaty my whole life
Urgent for a finish line
And I have been missing the rapture this whole time
Of being forever incomplete

Ever unfolding
Ever expanding
Ever adventurous and torturous
But never done

One day, I will speak freely
I’ll be less afraid
And measured outside of my poems and lyrics and art
One day I will be faith-filled
I’ll be trusting and spacious authentic and grounded and whole

I have been running so sweaty my whole life
Urgent for a finish line
And I have been missing the rapture this whole time
Of being forever incomplete



What I love about the video below is that she spends a good minute or so explaining how this song came to be  for her. Why she was compelled to get it out there. Today I was feeling this...a lot. I love how this woman gets me to thinkin'!