Carpe Diem...Genealogy Style

So everyone knows the term Carpe Diem, or Seize the Day. I try to live this way for the most part. I am the opposite of a procrastinator. Once I get a task in mind...there I go...off to accomplish it.

But today's post is about applying it to your family history. Oh, I'm fully aware that this won't be one of my more popular blog posts. I don't care...I'm gonna write it anyway for those that do care.

To pass the time during our adoption waiting last spring I picked up a new hobby...genealogy research. So many of you probably think it is so lame. But to me, there is nothing more unifying for a family than finding out there was more to the story than we were told. My research has brought me back together with various branches of my family tree, and I have uncovered the answers to some questions that nobody thought to seek and research.

As I uncovered some of this, I wanted nothing more than to share with my friends and family what I had found. So today, I am doing just that. And where does the whole Carpe Diem come in to play? Well, in this fact alone: 2 of my major discoveries were either discovered or taught to me just weeks before my sources passed away. I am a global thinker, and thought to myself, "What would have happened to that information had I not sought the answers and made the contact?" Would anyone younger than me ever have known this? I doubt it. Again, I urge you to take the time, build the relationships, that will help you know your roots. The generations beyond you might just care enough to ask.

Story #1
On my maternal grandmother's side, the Cole line, about 4 generations back, I hit a brick wall.

This man, pictured at left and well advanced in age, Jessie Bell Cole had online information showing that his dad wasn't really his dad. So I asked my grandmother if she knew anything about that. She gave me the strangest look and said she hadn't the faintest idea. So I dug around a bit more and found that the man named as his father was actually his uncle. Her response: "Well, I'll be damned." Haha! LOL Gotta love Nuni. That means that her grandfather was raised by his uncle. And she never knew. So I asked her if there was anyone older than her that might know, and we called Aunt Ella who was 101. We put that little lady on speakerphone and found out the real story: His bio mom and dad were pregnant out of wedlock, and never married. As his mother was birthing him, she died, and bio-dad (who was a Sanders, not a Cole, which affects all Coles below him...they would have been Sanders instead. Let that sink in...), anyway, bio-dad got scared and fled the scene, left the country. So Jessie was born an orphan. His uncle and aunt took him in and raised him as their own. Mystery solved...just two weeks before Aunt Ella died. You are welcome, oh younger generation.
Speaking of generations, here I am as a baby, pictured with my beautiful mother Mitzie (R), her mother Mildred (L), Mildred's father Jesse Lawrence Cole (my great-grandfather, back), and his father, the born orphan (in front.) This is a five-generation photo.

Story #2
On my paternal side of the family, much is known about the Stewardsons. Thanks to distant relatives who share my fervor in regards to family research, whole books have been published, towns have been named, etc. after the Stewardsons. SO easy to research. But growing up, I never heard the faintest word about the other side involved in this line...the Evans. That would be my dad's mom's mom's line. So I started digging in the amateur sense, and as I was mapping out my family tree for that side, I hit a gold mine. (Verification still in progress.) My cousin, Katy, was living with us last school year while I began this little hobby. She was across the room grading her French papers, while I was killing time online researching. All of a sudden, I get a generation further back, and I recognize a name. Like a famous name that isn't ringing a bell. SO I ask out loud, "Hey Katy...why does the name Boleyn sound so familiar?" Dead silence, then "SHUT. UP." She comes running over and peeks over my shoulder, and I begin to think something is wrong. As it turns out, our 14th Great-grandmother was Anne Boleyn's sister, King Henry the 8th's mistress, Mary Catherine Boleyn. Are you kidding me?!? We look at each other, and start cracking up. We are supposedly descended from royal bastards. At that point, Katy hopped in her car and drove to the nearest bookstore and came home with an armload of books about the Boleyns. So funny!

Mary Catherine Boleyn

So of course, I wanted to interview my oldest living relative on that side, but sadly, my grandmother has alzheimers pretty badly, and wasn't the best source choice. Her only sibling, Aunt Jean, would be my contact for this portion of my project. So I contacted her, and we tossed around the idea and laughed over it. But more importantly, we set up a time for me to go visit her. So my mom and I hopped in the car and headed to see her. It is a visit I have blogged about before. It is also a visit I will never forget. It was so fun to show her the royal connection, and inquire about the details she knew of on the Evans line that I wasn't sure anyone else had researched before. The best part was reconnecting with my second and third cousins and also remembering portions of my childhood with them. Little did we know as we pulled away in our convertible that beautiful June afternoon, that it would be the last time I saw my Aunt Jean living this side of heaven.

Again, I will never regret reaching out to my older living relatives and discovering how deep, wide and far my roots really go. I hope to share this someday with my nieces and nephews if they are interested. I can also share with my boys, but neither are my bloodline. I hope to research Jake's birth family here and there, and his birth grandfather shared some interesting facts with me when we met.

But the bottom line is this: LOVE makes a family. Blood doesn't necessarily make a family. We went to a Ross King concert Friday night at my sister's church. He is the father to three adopted children. He wrote a song called "Home" about adoption. It really struck a chord with me...and brought even more contentment with God's plan for my little family. Here are the words to that song.

---

Your mother and I had a plan
We knew the ending before it began
American woman, American man
With American dreams
How could we ever have known?
The God who can save had a dream of His own
He opened our heart and He made it your home
And it changed everything
Not flesh of my flesh
Not blood of her blood
You are heart of her heart
And soul of my soul
Your mother and I were broken inside
Then you came and made us whole
And now we're loved by your love
And you are named with our name
Cause a real family is more than biology
It's more than looking the same
Would we have prayed a different way
If we had known that God would bring you home?
Nothing prepared us for this
We never knew we would fall like we did
Surely there's no one that's ever been given
A sweeter surprise
All we can give is our love
Love is the way you were given to us
We only pray we can love you enough
For the rest of our lives
You are heart of her heart
And soul of my soul
Your mother and I were broken inside
Then you came and made us whole
And now we're loved by your love
And you are named with our name
Cause a real family is more than biology
It's more than looking the same
Would we have prayed a different way
If we had known that God would bring you home?


Other interesting discoveries regarding my family history:


Another family member about 8 generations back was adopted!
There were Jewish family members a few generations back.
A distant relative watched his town burn to the ground in the Civil War.
My paternal grandparents were farm neighbors as children.


Anyway, enough boring facts for today. Enjoy your upcoming week!


~Peace~